Reflections
by Vix444
Summary: One of the team is taken, how do they all deal with it. Sorry summary kind of sucks.  JJ/Emily.  rated M for violence
1. Chapter 1

Its strange to think that standing here, looking out over the Capitol's dome that anything can be solved, the thoughts that are flying at a million miles an hour through your mind can be slowed, to be thought out, to be resolved. There is one thing I wish that could be slowed down, time. It goes far too quickly, with each case, each gut-wrenching day having to see and smell the horrors that man can do to another. How are we meant to be able to deal with this? Are we to try and find the beauty in the world? The beauty that used to be everywhere before man got there, where we built on it, destroyed yet another delicate fragment of the world. Time spins out of control, out of my control, trying desperately to grasp a hold n the tangible thread that weaves us all together, just to create a moment of peace that I can hold onto, with the world spinning out of control, how do I do it?

There was a time when innocence used to flourish, where children could be children and parents didn't have to worry about every adult that approached them, well that was the perception, we know that wasn't the truth, we know that they have always been out there, waiting for the precise moment that they can take you away, into their fantasy, and your worst nightmare.

Taking a deep breath and turning away from the window, walking over to the plush sofa, it is surprisingly soft and comfortable, not the normal kind you would expect. Bringing the coffee close to my mouth I inhale, smelling the heavenly scent, taking a sip of the rich liquid it scolds my tongue but the pain is a relief. Placing the mug back on the table I glance at the window, ready to bear the torrent of emotions that storm through my veins.

Two months ago, I was dragged into their world, one full of pain and suffering, of torture and humility. I knew that first day would be different, walking into the bullpen, seeing the place alive and bustling, even though it was barely eight am, I knew that this was different, the training in me knowing that there was certain danger, the human in me terrified of that. Walking in through he glass doors and all eyes suddenly turn to me, the relief in some and the worry in others still there.

"What's going on?" trying to sound normal and not like the scared girl that is bubbling inside me, the on that knows this cannot be good. "Emily! Why didn't you answer your phone? I have been calling non-stop for the last hour!" glancing between JJ and the rest of the team with a confused look I grab my phone out of the holder on my hip and check it, looking a the phone, I realise why they weren't able to get hold of me, "Sorry guys, the battery died last night and I forgot to turn it back on this morning" I'm still confused as to why there is the concern and why there are so many people here, suddenly JJ is enveloping me in a bear hug while hitting me "Don't ever do that again, don't you ever!", ""JayJ, what is going on?" "Princess, have you not seen the news this morning?" Morgan gives me a pointed look "Erm no I haven't seen it or listened to the radio" pointing to the monitor I the corner of the room I follow. ".God" on the screen is a car, exactly the same as mine in the middle of the I95 in pieces, reporters are saying there were 5 dead women in there, all brunette with brown eyes, gagged and bound.

"Agent Prentiss?" looking around the waiting room the doctor addresses the group that has stood, "is there an Agent Jareau here" JJ steps up to the doctor "I'm Jennifer Jareau"

"_Agent Jareau, you are named on the medical proxy as next of kin, would you like to come with me so we can discuss Agent Prentiss's condition please?" "Here is fine Doctor, we are all Emily's family" Looking at the group he motions for everyone t sit. "As you are all aware Agent Prentiss has suffered a major trauma, there were many extensive injuries, the major concern is the bleeding in the brain, the collapsed lung and the severe fracturing of both legs" checking that the group are still listening and understanding he carries on, "there are other minor injuries that will heal with time, she has 5 broken ribs of which one caused the collapsed lung, she has a dislocated right shoulder and severe bruising around wrists and ankles" allowing the group to digest what he has just said, "we have also doing a regulatory sexual assault test" suddenly five sets of eyes are looking at him with sheer horror, with a deep breath "the test results have come back positive". All that can be heard on the floor is a woman's scream and then crying, from both women in the room, one man looks like he is ready to kill someone but the shock is keeping him there, and judging by the size of him, God help who did this. "We have had to put Agent Prentiss in an induced coma, so that the majority of her injuries can start to recover, we will be keeping a close eye on her and monitoring her for any sign of distress or improvement. I must warn you all, with the extent of her injuries, there is a very likely and real chance that she will never wake up, and if she does there is no telling if she will recover from the emotional trauma."_

"Everyone conference room now" Hotch's stern eyes look over with his furrowed brow, I know I am in deep water with everyone, dammit, if I hadn't of overslept then I would have been in earlier, if I had remembered about my phone, _that_ would have been a good start. Leaving my things on the desk, there is no point in booting up the PC only for it to be shut down, I walk slowly following everyone else. "We have been invited in by the locals, JJ can you?" he glances at me again then looks away, I close my eyes briefly then look at the board, I have to just suck this up, all the worry they had is because I didn't have my head in place, to be able to help the locals I need to focus and keep my head on straight. "Okay guys, as you have seen on the news the media have already taken hold of this pretty quickly, we have five dead girls that were left on I95, the car was then blown up, in the middle of rush hour, gaining maximum attention and subsequently maximum news coverage. The girls all had their hands tied behind their backs and were gagged, we are waiting on the autopsies to tell us if they were dead before they got in the car or not."

Walking down to the SUV's I can feel their eyes burning in my back, I know I screwed up but we have to focus, I can tell they are all worried about me, normally when I fit the description of the Unsubs type we are in some town hundreds of miles away from our home, but this time we are on home ground, normally that would be an advantage but there is something about this case that is not right, I felt it this morning when I walked into the BAU, and it is getting worse the longer the day gets. "Morgan, Prentiss, head over to the crime scene, see if there is anything there that the first responders missed" Hopefully I can at least redeem myself at little by trying to find something at the scene.

This is useless, anything that as of any value was either blown from here to Antarctica or is a pile of burnt plastic on the highway. "Morgan, you got anything over here?" passing round the back of the car it looks like he does, "What's that?" "It looks like a modified steering wheel, the box here" pointing to a melted plastic case "looks like it was used to remotely control the car, probably why this was done in rush hour, when the traffic would be at a near stand still which would allow him to control the vehicle without it looking suspicious" This guy really thought of everything, if he used a remote control then he must have been close to it, wouldn't he? "Morgan, what do you think the range would be on that? It couldn't be too far as he would have to see the way the traffic moves so that he didn't crash prematurely, which would mean he would need to be close, probably in one of the cars that stopped first after the initial explosion"

_Walking into the room all the team could do was gasp, more tears left JJ and Garcia, Reid could hardly look, Morgan grew more angry and silent, Rossi was struggling to keep himself together, seeing the person you think of like a daughter laying there was killing him and Hotch, well Hotch became cold and distant, blaming himself for not being quick enough to find her._

_Emily was laying in the bed, tubes were everywhere, the ventilator going up and down to keep her breathing. IV's running into her hand, pumping fluids that she desperately needs, gone for four days with no food or water her body was craving them. JJ slowly walks over, careful of the tubes and wires that were keeping Emily alive, gently taking her hand and feeling how she was warm gave her hope, but seeing the tube out of her throat quickly took that away. No one on the team knew of JJ and Emily's relationship, well except Garcia, as she is the all-knowing goddess of the BAU. Teary eyes look up and connect with Garcia's, "She will wake up, right Pen?", "I hope so Gumdrop, I hope so". Looking down at the stoic brunette in the bed Garcia's heart broke even more, if Emily didn't wake up they would be losing two agents, looking over at the blonde agent anyone can see she is breaking inside although you could pass it off as worry for our best friend but this runs so much deeper, it cant end like this, with all of them gathered around a hospital bed, one of their own fighting for life._

Walking back into the station Morgan and me are still discussing the idea o the range on the control box, as we enter the BAU Hotch signals us to join everyone in the conference room. "Okay Morgan what did we get from the scene?" looking over the others it doesn't look like we managed to get much from the initial questioning, "from what we can tell there was a control box fitted to the steering wheel, allowing the Unsub to remotely control the car, we passed it to the forensics team, hopefully they can get us an approximate range which would narrow down as to which car he could have been in" "good work you two" Rossi gives a sly smile, I feel I may be let off the hook for now, although glancing over to JJ I know I am not that lucky. What the others got wasn't really much, until we get the results back on the range there is not much else we can do.

What this guy did to these women was horrendous, looking over the autopsy reports of the five women it makes for disturbing reading. First he tied them up, from the look of the bruising around their wrists it was most likely metal shackles, he them beat them fracturing various bones in their faces, breaking their ribs and then violating a woman the worst way possible. All these women knew before their death was pain and suffering, the depths that a human can go to, to inflict this pain on another human is heinous. The interesting thing for want of a better word is that the time span they were killed over, they were all in various stages of decomposition, the first victim had an approximate death of two weeks ago, the last victim was two days ago. Where as he keeping them? It must be somewhere there is privacy and not an apartment building, as the smell would draw attention so he must have a house with a basement or a secondary property where he can store the bodies. "Hey Em, you ready to go?" feeling the hand on my shoulder I glance up into the cerulean eyes, filled with apprehension but also the last dwindling sense of anger. "Yeah JayJ lets go, I don't think I can read anymore tonight"

The drive home was silent, it allows me to think over the case, I can see JJ following in the rear-view mirror, no doubt playing some random tune on the radio. Feeling the car beneath me, the rumble of the engine is soothing helping me to relax and rid the thoughts of what could have happened this morning.

Opening the door to my apartment I let her in first, "Do you want a drink?" watching her walk over to the window I can just make out the reflection on the glass, "JayJ, you okay?" Turning I see the tears rolling down her tanned face, walking slowly over I pull her into a hug, feeling the tears soaking my shirt and the fists balling my shirt, I have never seen her so broken before, the tears subside into sobs which slowly stop. "Emily, when I saw the news, and saw the car on fire, when they said what make and model, and then I couldn't get hold of you, oh God, I have never been so scared in all my life. I don't know what I would do without you" she looks up and all I see is the pain in her eyes and as much as I want to blame the Unsub for using the same car as mine it is just as much my fault. "Jennifer, I am so sorry for scaring you, I don't know what to say apart from that I am sorry baby"

A/N: Let me know if i should continue with this as i'm not too sure about it


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: First I want to say thank you for the reviews and the story alerts, it is inspiring to know that people like what I have written. Secondly I want to apologise for the lack of updating, real life has been kind of kicking my arse lately, and thirdly, enjoy!

Anyway, with that said, here is the next instalment, hope it was worth the wait, as always reviews are good

What happened? I can't remember, the darkness is everywhere, trying to lift my head I feel the nausea rise up, swallowing back down I open my eyes. It is so dark, all around me is black, as my vision comes back into focus I can make out the door, there is a faint light creeping round the edges. I feel myself more alert. I've got to move. I've got to get out of here. Trying to get up I hear the metal clang and the cold around my ankles, glancing down I can make out the shakels, I move my feet, the chain is slightly loose, I get about a foot of movement, nothing that can help when some one comes in. My hands are behind my back, the cool metal rubbing at my wrists. The light comes on, blinding me at first but slowly the room comes back, the pupils of my eyes constricting to focus, straining to keep the light out and bring back some of the darkness. The room has a stench, I didn't notice before but it hits me, like a fist connecting a face, the smell of fear, suffering and horror, things that shouldn't have a smell, that you shouldn't be able to distinguish.

"Emily, how nice of you to join me" Where is that voice coming from, in the far corner there is a speaker, "I was hoping you would wake a bit sooner, maybe I should of used less, oh well, it does not matter, all that matters is that you are here. With me." I recognise the voice, I cant place it though, my mind has this fog over it.

It is cold in here, there is not a breeze, just coldness. It is slowly ebbing inside making me numb, tired. I know I have to stay awake, think of anything. Jennifer. Oh Jen, I promised you that everything would be okay, that I would always be there. I can smell your faint perfume from the top that I borrowed this morning when I spilt coffee down mine. The smell brings back memories, the time that we went to the Smithsonian, wandering around the American art gallery and seeing the Palazzo Barberini, Rome by Carroll Beckwith, when you saw it you instantly fell in love with it, seeing the smile on your face and the sparkle in your eye when I said that we will go to Rome, so you can see all the beautiful places with your own eyes, to touch the stones that make the Pantheon, to feel the place rather than see pictures of it. It would be worth it to see you go there, it would be worth the pain of the memories that I hold of Rome.

"Emily, what are you smiling at? Not that I mind you smiling, you are so very beautiful when you smile" The voice is not coming from the speaker, it is behind me in the room, crashing me back down to earth, bringing me back to this nightmare. "I'm smiling at a memory that you will never have, and one that I will never tell you". My voice comes out strong, like I wanted it too, I was so scared it would break, show a weakness. Prentiss's do not show weakness, for once I am glad of the training my mother gave me.

"Oh Emily, you will give me far more than you realise" The voice is next to my ear, I can feel the hot sticky breath glide across my face, I try not to react but the slight tensing of my body gives me away, I know he saw it, the laugh that is radiating from him shows that. There is another noise as well, a metal clinking noise, he is doing something to the chains around my wrists.

Oh my god.

"_JJ you should go home and get some rest, take a shower and have something to eat. Emily wouldn't want you here wasting away." Morgan looked wearily at the blonde, she had been here for a week now, never leaving Emily's side. Looking over her I don't think she even registered that I spoke, she is just in this stoic state, I'm scared for her, I'm scared for Emily. We wouldn't be able to cope if we lost either of them, but at the way this is looking we are going to lose both of them._

"_I can't leave her Morgan, if the roles were reversed you and I both know that she would be doing the same. I just cant lose her." I feel the tears falling slowly down my face, for a week now I have sat here, watching her closely, hoping for her to wake up, to allow me to see those dark orbs, to feel her in my arms. This is all my fault, I should have insisted going with her or at least someone going with her, we knew the profile, we knew it was someone in law enforcement. How could we have not seen it, how could _I _have not seen it. I feel Morgan pull me into a hug, I want to just push him away as the only person I want to ever hold me is laying in the hospital bed in front of me, but, I know I can't, he is only trying to do what he can. I see the guilt in his eyes, he feels the same pain as me, we have both nearly lost someone special, to him a best friend, someone to trust, which for all of us is hard in this job. For me, well I nearly lost the best damn thing I have in this world. Emily Prentiss. _

The pain is blinding, I feel it radiating from my shoulders right down to my feet. Trying to control my facial expressions is becoming harder, the more the pain that flows through the more I have to bite my tongue from screaming out, I will not give this bastard that satisfaction, he will not hear me scream. My toes barely touch the floor now, my arms have been pulled above my head, I can feel the chains around my wrists cutting in, the blood is dripping down my arm.

"Emily, oh Emily, I am so glad you are here. Now we can have the life that I dreamed of, the one that we should have always had, if only you had not seen that blonde whore first!" spitting the last part in my face I cant hold back any longer "Don't you dare ever, _ever_, call her a whore, she is worth ten million of you, and I will never be yours!" I hear the sound before I feel the pain, the crack as his fist connects with my face. "Emily! You know we are meant to be together, even you mother approves of me!" His hot breath is billowing in my face, his eyes are bloodshot with anger, blow after blow is raining down on me, I cant do anything to fight back, my feet are tied to the floor my hands chained to the ceiling, I feel like a pig in the slaughter house about to be carved open.

I can feel the darkness closing in again, slipping into unconscious all I can think about is Jay. When I overheard her talking to Garcia about how she had fallen for someone, I couldn't make out the name, it crushed me, I felt like my heart was shattering. All the hopes that I had of our lingering gases, our subtle touches and the language that we had built, where looking into your eyes was like having a conversation had just been blown apart. I cancelled on our girls night out that night, I couldn't face looking into those sapphire eyes and knowing that I would never get the chance to drown in them, to feel all the emotions that swim through them. But that night changed my life, you came to my apartment, wanting to know why I wasn't coming out, you looked so deflated and my heart shattered just that fragment more. I had to tell you why I couldn't come out. I am so glad I did. That night you told me you loved me too, that you had since the moment we met.

_The steady beeping of the machine is comforting in a strange way, it lets me know that you are still here with me, still fighting for this, us. Staring out your window into the night sky thinking back to that night at your apartment, "do you remember? I hope you do, it will be something I never forget. When you called Garcia to say that you couldn't make it to our girls night I had never felt so empty, it is hard to explain, when your around I feel complete, it is like there was this piece of me missing and as much as I tried to fill it nothing would work. I tried to push myself further into work hoping that it would fill this gaping hole that was inside me but it didn't even touch it. Until I saw you in Hotch's office, suddenly it started to get filled in, slowly over time. I don't know what possessed me that night but I couldn't go without seeing you, you had been avoiding me all-day and then when you cancelled I didn't know what I had done wrong but I couldn't let it carry on. It hurt too much, knowing that you were angry with me so I went to your apartment, hoping that you would at least open the door to me. When you did, I could tell that you had been crying, at that point I just wanted to take you in arms and never let go. I wanted to protect you from whatever hurt you were going through."_

_I hope this helps, the doctor said talking may help, hearing the voice of the ones that love you may pull you back sooner. I will do anything to bring you back, to me, to the team, to your family. "Once you let me in, it was so awkward, it had never been like that between us before, the silence was so heavy, I cant believe I just blurted it out like that, your face was such a picture, it was a Kodak moment. I was so scared and horrified of how I told you I love you, I had this whole speech ready, Garcia was helping me with it earlier in the day and then I take one look at you, seeing you so vulnerable I just couldn't help it, I just had to tell you." _


	3. Chapter 3

"Emily. Emily, wake up." The ice cold water is a shock to the system, I can feel it trickling down my front, it has suddenly dropped another ten degrees in here, my body starts to shake. "Glad to see you back with me, now, I suggest that you don't argue with me again, I don't want to hurt you" he reaches out and brushes his hand across my now broken cheek, I try not to wince but the pain is just a bit too much, he see's the tears well up in my eyes. "Why are you crying? You are so strong, I don't think I have ever seen you cry before" I still cant quite place him, I know I know him but there is nothing distinctive about him, nothing I can latch onto to help me remember. "who are you?" my voice comes out just above a whisper, I hardly recognise that I spoke. "Who am I? WHO AM I?" I know that I have done the wrong thing, you would think that with my training, being a profiler, that I would recognise when not to agitate an unsub.

He's walking away, I was sure that I had just infuriated him, the door slams shut and I breathe a sigh of relief, opening my one working eye as the other one has swollen shut I look round, on the bare white walls there are dozens of pictures, straining my eyes I can just about make them out, they are all of me. Me of ones with the team, with my mother and with Jayj. There are a few that catch my eye, they are of when I was younger, a couple from my time in the middle east, some from Russia, there are even ones from Rome. Oh no, that can't be, no-one knew about it, how could he have pictures? How can he have been there, all those places, all those times. This wasn't in the profile, there was no indication he had known me this long, how can he of known me this long and me not know his face. The faces of all the people I met are flashing behind my eyes, trying to place him there but he is always just out of reach.

The door screams open, and he is standing there, a twisted sneer pulling at his mouth, eyes glowing with rage. Striding towards me is when I see it, the glint off the light, fear seeps into my bones freezing me solid, I want to move, to scream out for him to stop but I know he wont, I know that it will only make whatever he is going to do worse.

The crowbar slides down my arm making sure I have a grip on it, twisting it round in my hand, feeling the weight of the metal, the excitement grows, the feeling of power is overwhelming, I have waited for years to do this, to have complete control over her, to make her beg him for mercy, for release from the pain. The pain and suffering that she put me through, watching her with all her lovers over the years, admittedly there weren't many and they were easily scared off, but that doesn't matter. Each time she chose someone else over me, I was always there, watching, waiting, being her protector. That was until Jennifer Jareau, there was something different with the blonde, that could be seen without having to get too close, i could tell that this time I couldn't scare her away, she was strong and brave. I knew this time I would have to get Emily, to make her see _me_.

The first blow I'm sure breaks a couple of ribs, the breath has been sucked out of my lungs as it strikes again and again. I can hardly breathe, every time I try my lungs set fire, the pain is so intense, I have never felt anything like this before. I just hope the team find me soon.

_Seeing her laying there so helpless and out of character, I cant believe that he made her like this. I just hope her spirit hasn__'t been broken. After everything that happened and all that she has been through in her life I don't know if she will make it out. I know she is a strong woman, brilliant at that too but there is that lingering doubt in the back of my mind. She had to give up a baby when she was 15, how is she going to do that again? We all know what injuries she received and what happened to get her like this, but we don't know why, we don't know how he managed to get her on her own, how he managed to beat her like he did, all while confessing his undying love for her, being her 'protector' for all these years. It just doesn't make sense, why now? What could of happened to trigger him off, to react like this. I hope Emily has some answers. I cant lose the woman that is like a daughter to me._

"_Hey Rossi, how is she?" JJ walks straight past Rossi to take her normal post next to the bed. Grabbing Emily's hand in her own smaller one and gently caressing with her thumb, "she's the same as when you left 5 minutes ago JJ, still unconscious, still in here, still hurting." looking to the ground Rossi cant bring himself to look at the woman who has been broken since the minute Emily went missing. He knew that something was changing between the two women, he just didn't realise that it had already happened and how deep it was, until the morning when they found Emily had been taken. They had been working the case for a week, after the initial incident on the interstate they had not heard anymore from the unsub, it was as if he had disappeared off the face of the earth. It was like chasing a ghost, there was nothing for them to go on, two of the five women had been burnt beyond recognition making identification near impossible. The other three had taken time as well, none of them were in the system, they had no identifiable dentals even, the unsub had specifically chosen them so that we would be going in circles, giving him the time to pull us away from each other._

"_It wasn't your fault you know? None of us saw it until it was too late, how could we have known, even Emily didn't know, so don't blame yourself for this, there was nothing we could have done. He was always going to get her." The tears slowly make tracks down my face, I know what I told Rossi is true, but it doesn't change the guilt we all feel. Although none of us have verbalised it we know that we all feel it, maybe Hotch and Rossi more as they sent Emily to out on her own, and I am so mad at them for that, I cant help but blame them partially for this, if they hadn't of sent her on her own, knowing that there was someone who was attacking women that looked exactly like her, had similar personalities and practically the same relationship with their parents. How could they have been so stupid? It is totally irrational blaming them but I need someone to blame, the unsub is dead so the only people I have left is the ones that inadvertently and unknowingly helped him._

_Everything was going so well, we were so happy, after we confessed everything to each other about how we felt, I couldn't have been happier and the goofy smile that was Emily's face showed she was the same. She was so sweet, while all we wanted to do was consummate the relationship she insisted that we at least go on one date first, which turned out to be three dates before I convinced her that it was what I truly wanted, what I had always wanted. I was going to ask her after the case was over to move in with me, we were practically living together anyway, at her place or mine. It didn't matter as long as we were together. I hope I get the chance._

Watching her hanging there, her body limp slouching forward slightly. She is so beautiful even in her sleep. I knew from the moment that I first met her that we would spend eternity together, she was such a breeze of fresh air that day. All long black hair and these big beautiful mocha eyes, dressed to perfection, she is perfection. Emily has only got more beautiful as the years have rolled on, she has shortened her hair since she was younger and her eyes seem to have got that much more guarded. Walking over to her I can help but stroke down her face, the swelling will go down, when she realises that we are meant to be together and returns this love I can let her out of these chains. I soak the cloth in the warm water, cleaning away the blood from the cuts, I cant have her get an infection and get ill, that would ruin my day.

I can feel the water over my face, is he cleaning up my face? The water I warm, not cold like before, my clothes have dried although the air is thicker now, full of my fear, sweat and screams. His hands are moving further down my body, to the collar of my shirt, the first button is popped open, his clammy hands are now pulling at the others, getting frustrated he rips my shirt open, he is leaning in close, the stale alcohol on his breath soaking into my skin contaminating me. Pawing at me I just want to scream but I keep my eyes closed, that way he cant see the fear in my eyes which will be there, I know it will, no amount of compartmentalisation could stop it.

"My oh my, Emily, when did you get this?" he is mumbling to himself, stroking the outline of the small tattoo that I have on hip bone, you can just see it above the trouser line, it is a kanji symbol for strong will, something I have always had, it is the one thing that will get me through this. The will power to not let him break me, to take me away, to get back to JJ. He is moving down my body, I have to stop this, I cant stay here and do nothing, I have to at least try. Seeing my opportunity I take it, hearing the satisfying sound of his nose breaking, my head hurts worse now but that doesn't matter, he recoils as if I am on fire, for the first time in two days my body has come alive, the pain has subsided and been replaced by adrenaline, pulling at the chains above my head I try to loosen the bolts they are held in by, I try to pull myself together, tugging my arms down and bringing my knees to my chest, anything to try and get out of her.

Suddenly it is quiet, the screaming abuse that he was just yelling has stopped, the room has gone deathly quiet, I try to look around but I cant see him, that is when I hear it, the crack as the lead pipe connects with my right leg, trying to scream I soon realise I cant, my throat is so dry like all of a sudden the Sahara has taken residence there. He keeps hitting my leg with the pipe, smashing the bones inside, the weight that I had settled there is now crushing my own legs, I pull tighter with my hands on the chains above my head, trying to ease the pain slightly, I manage to get some lift when the pipe comes thundering down on my right shoulder. The pain is now crippling my body, I can see the darkness approaching, I can hardly stay awake, the pain causing dots to form in my eyes, the blinding headache, the pain from my ribs and now my leg and shoulder, I know that even if I could get out of these chains, I would never get out of the room. This is how my life is going to end, chained up in a basement beaten and bruised.

I close my eyes and hope that it will come quickly. I see me and JJ, laughing while watching a comedy after a case, cuddled on the sofa as both of us were too tired to go out, watching her in the kitchen dancing to music while cooking, laughing in the park when I told her one of my geeky jokes, making love, hearing her say I love you. I hope she knows I love her, that even though we didn't have much time together that it was the best time of my life, the only time I have ever been truly happy.

"_Emily! don't give up, please come back, don't give up, I need you, I love you, please, please, please come back" the sound of the heart monitor flat lining and JJ's screams are all that can be heard, soon the team are rushing in the room, Morgan gathers JJ in his arms, slowly guiding her to the floor, the crash team rush in and push everyone out. Outside the room there is a group of six people breaking, all in their own way, but one especially. Seeing the past week fly by with each charge of the defibrillator, each shock of the prone body laying in the bed all they can feel is loss and guilt, losing one of your own in the family that they are will change everything, it will change everyone. _


	4. Chapter 4

_I cant believe that she could be gone, how am I going to live without her. Waking up to her arms around me, I have never felt so safe and loved. For our anniversary she had managed to get Hotch to give us the day off, which gave us a long weekend, arriving home my house had been transformed , candles had placed around, giving a warm glow, looking across the room, the table has been set with a beautiful flower display in the middle, I can smell them from the door, walking closer I stoke the petal of one of the flowers, a red camellia, it is so soft and delicate. __"it means you're a flame in my heart" hearing the soft voice behind me I whip my head around, she is standing there leaning against the doorway, a smile spreading across her face. Slowly walking over to me I can feel my breath hitch in my throat, she is wearing a beautiful knee length black dress, one strap over the shoulder. "the pink one means longing for you" her hands wrap themselves around my waist, spinning me back to face them "the calla lily is for your beauty, orange blossom for eternal love, variegated tulips for your beautiful eyes and the mistletoe is for kiss me" the tears are free falling from my eyes down my cheeks, I turn to her, placing one hand on her cheek, pulling her in closer until we are millimetres apart I whisper "I love you so much" as I close the last remaining gap._

"_Agent Prentiss?" slamming me back into reality I run up to the doctor that entered the room, I can see the blood still on his scrubs, oh god no, please no. Looking into his eyes I know more tears are falling "we are Agent Prentiss' family" I barely manage to get it out, luckily PG is right there to catch me before my legs buckle. "First off I would like to say that Agent Prentiss is alive, we lost her a couple of times but she is a fighter and we have managed to stabilise her, the bleed on the brain had come back, there was a second bleed that we hadn't spotted previously, this then rapidly haemorrhaged causing her the cardiac arrest in the room. We have moved her to ICU where she will be monitored around the clock, we are hopeful that everything will be okay from now on but as you are now fully aware, things can change drastically in a matter of minutes" looking at the others, they have all relaxed a small amount, we know that there is a long way to go before she will be fully recovered, but at least there is the hope. "I have to say that it is hospital policy that only two people are allowed in the room at any one time, only Agent Jareau is allowed to stay as she is the registered next of kin. I will ask a nurse to come in and show you up to the department, I will also let her know that you are all allowed in for a maximum of twenty minutes, after that you must leave, I'm sorry I wish there was more that I could do for you but any undue stress on the patient and it could cause things to deteriorate" with that the doctor turned around and walked out._

_No-one is speaking on the way to Emily's room, we are all walking along as if none of us know each other. I know they all blame me for making the call but I thought it was safe for her to go to. After the initial attack we heard nothing, we kept investigating, it wasn't until we got the identifications on the 3 women that were not too badly burnt. It took four days for them to come through, we had nothing on them to find out who they were until the missing person reports were filed, it seemed strange when all three came through the same day but we didn't dwell on it as they were filed by work colleagues who were worried that there was no contact from them. They were all successful women, leaders in their companies but they all lived alone, not one was involved with anyone. We interviewed their colleagues and anyone that would know them but it seemed that they were very private people, another comparison to Emily. The similarities were building up, first there was the car they were found in, their looks, how they were successful in their careers, the fact they all lived alone and then there was the relationships with their parents. All three of them were either estranged from their parents or had a very strained relationship with them. I know there were so many things that were similar but nothing pointed to a direct attack, we were all shaken up by it, but Emily kept brushing it off, she had never had anything untoward sent to her, no random phone calls, nothing that her training would have picked up on._

_Once we had eliminated their colleagues we went back to the witnesses that we first interviewed, we were still waiting on the results from forensics about the range on the remote control. We all spilt to do the re-interviews each taking a couple to try and see if they could remember any more details about the accident, maybe now the shock had worn off they would be able to give us something, anything._

_We didn't realise who we had sent Prentiss to._

What is that smell? It is bringing back into this hell, I wish it would just go away so I wouldn't have to be here anymore, I could be in my dream world where none of this is happening. My body is so hungry and dehydrated I barely have the energy to stay awake let alone to fight the pain that is ripping through my body, staring up at the ceiling there is something different about this, my wrists are not screaming for release, they are now strapped by my sides, I become acutely aware that I am laying down on some form of table, there are restraints covering every limb, across my arms, legs, waist even over my head. I cant move, I am so tired, so very tired. I am drifting again, away from this world and into a pain induced sleep, hopefully I will have a chance to relieve the memories about the team, the fun that we had together outside of work. The day we all went to the annual FBI get together at Quantico, that was a good day. Hotch brought Jack with him and I have never seen the little boy so happy as when he was with his dad, his own personal Captain America. We spent the whole day laughing, especially when it came to the activities, I have never laughed so much in my life. Seeing Garcia and Morgan in the team water balloon fight was hilarious, all you could hear was Garcia's screeching quickly followed by "avenge me my chocolate hulk!" at which point everyone fell about laughing.

I just wish that I knew that he had been following me all these years, ever since my teens. I try to place him but he is always just outside the edge of the picture, hovering on the tip of my subconscious. I knew the first time that me and JJ interviewed him that there was something I recognised, not from just seeing him around Quantico as we all knew that he was an Agent, based in counter terrorism apparently. I don't even recognise the name, we had been searching for a week for a clue, a fibre left behind or some identifiable mark but there wasn't any. Forensics were still testing the remote and we only had the identifications on three of the five Women, Isabel Raines, Rachel Leo and Yvette Keys. Interviewing their colleagues got us very little apart from their preferred names, Izzy, Leo and Yve. Maybe we should have spotted it then but we didn't, and I bet everything that the first two women had either their surname or first name initial as E and M.

After we had hit the brick wall we decided to re-interview the witnesses from the interstate incident, we all took a couple of people to go back to, JJ had to get her press release done so I volunteered to go and interview an elderly couple, one of the guys that I had taken the statement from before and another couple. The elderly couple couldn't remember anymore, they thought that they had seen a man acting strange in a silver car, always changing lanes from left to right but never sitting in the middle lane, apart from that they couldn't give us anything more. I had rung each of the people that I was seeing beforehand, stopping outside the bungalow on the outskirts of DC the sinking feeling I had all morning was getting worse, I could feel the knotting in my stomach tightening, just wishing that Jennifer was there to calm me down.

Approaching the door I noticed that the house was in some disrepair, I was getting a bit curious when there was no answer to my knocking, I was about to go and check round the back when I heard a noise, before I could get to my gun it all went black.

**R&R **


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